


Where's the bloody milk?

by superwholocked666



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Deductions, Embarrassed Sherlock, Established Relationship, Fluff, John is Sherlock's boyfriend, John is shocked that Sherlock actually buys milk, Johnlock - Freeform, Larry is only mentioned - Freeform, M/M, Oneshot, Password guessing, Sherlock buys milk, Sherlock hates old ladies, Sherlock hates shopping, annoying lady at the supermarket
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 03:19:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7026406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superwholocked666/pseuds/superwholocked666
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In order to be a better boyfriend, Sherlock performs an act of kindness and goes to the store to buy some milk. However, as usual, it wouldn't be a regular expedition if Sherlock didn't run into someone and deduce their life's story.<br/>Upon his return, John fails to comprehend that Sherlock actually bought him milk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where's the bloody milk?

**Author's Note:**

> This is a little one shot that I had in my head and wanted to write down.

Milk. How hard could it be to buy some bloody milk? Very hard apparently. Sherlock walked down the isles of the supermarket trying to find any indication as to where he could find what he wanted. Was there a cow product section? How did they decide what went where? Sherlock huffed as he stomped past shelves of bread, why didn't they just have it in alphabetical order? Over the last few years, Sherlock noticed John walk up to the fridge over a hundred times, only to walk away, shaking his head and mumbling about there being no milk for his tea. Sherlock never bothered buying it because he always had black with two sugars, but Sherlock wanted to make John happy. This was a fairly new concept for him, the desire to make a human happy wasn't something he'd ever encountered before. But now that John was his... boyfriend, he felt this need to please him. Sherlock shuddered, not just because he was standing in the ice-cream section, but because he hated the term boyfriend, it made him feel hypocritical. Sherlock always believed that love was a dangerous disadvantage and one should never let it rule their head. 

"Ah ha!" He whispered to himself, taking the last bottle of milk off the shelf and turning towards the exit. An older woman, pushing a walking frame stood beside him.

"Excuse me, that's my milk" She said, reaching out to take it from his hand.

"It hasn't got your name on it!" Sherlock defended, taking a step back.

"I've been coming here, everyday for the last twelve years and I..." She started.

"Oh shut up." Sherlock retorted, walking away.

"No body can drag me down." Sherlock mumbled. He cursed the radio and their stupid catchy tunes. Why did supermarkets play music? Was it to put people in a happy mood so they'd spend more? Sherlock found the checkout and joined a queue. When he finally reached the front he realised he was in the wrong spot. He looked up and saw a large sign saying 'self service section'. 

"Get a move on... milk thief!" The same old lady as before yelled behind him. Sherlock spun around and stared at the old woman, assessing her for less than a second before smirking to himself.

"You, lied" He said, the woman made a shocked expression and opened her mouth to protest but Sherlock interrupted her.

"You usually shop at the supermarket down the road, but guessing by the fact that it's closed for renovations this week, you came to this shop, hoping to buy milk and attempting to guilt me into giving it to you. I can tell this by the frequent shoppers card in the basket on your walking frame... which, may I add, you and I both know you don't need, your legs and back are perfectly fine, judging by the way you reached the top shelf for some a packet of biscuits earlier." Sherlock deduced. The woman went to protest again, only to be cut off by a long line of people yelling at them to hurry up.

The detective turned around and walked up to a machine. After scanning the milk, he placed it in the bagging area and put his hand in his pocket. No wallet. After patting himself down and checking all his pockets, he realised he didn't carry money often, usually relying on John to pay the cabbie and buy the groceries. Great. He considered calling John but decided against it, remembering the last time John got in an argument with a chip and pin machine. Glancing around, he noticed nobody appeared to be paying attention to him, so he grabbed the box of chocolates next to the register and quickly switched it with the milk so he wouldn't upset the weight on the scales. He pretended to press a couple of buttons before quickly walking out of the shop with the milk, praying no one would notice until he was gone.  
\---------------------------  
"I don't remember buying milk..." John muttered from the kitchen. 

Sherlock sat, cross-legged on their sofa, twisting a rubix cube while John made them some tea. The telly was one in the background, lighting the dark room in flashes of random colour. 

"I did." Sherlock said, smiling as he solved the cube.

"You did?" John laughed, putting the milk away.

"Do you know how ridiculous the shop is? I mean how on earth is that place organised, certainly not alphabetically, which obviously would make the most sense." Sherlock admitted disbelievingly as he put the puzzle box behind his back, attempting to solve it without looking. 

"Wait you're serious?" John asked, staring at Sherlock from the next room.

"Yes, and you know what? Some old bat accused me of 'stealing her milk', well I told her..." Sherlock started.

"You mean you physically left the flat... went to the shop...and bought milk." John asked, mystified. 

"Well, 'bought' might be a stretch... anyway, this woman was..." Sherlock went off on a tangent about some old woman at the supermarket. John, thoroughly impressed with his boyfriend, walked up to him and placed a kiss on his cheek, and placed the two mugs down on the coffee table.

"And then... What was that for?" Sherlock asked, confused.

"You finally listened to me... for once." John replied taking a seat next to him. Sherlock wasn't too great with displays of affection, and they fell into a comfortable silence, watching the TV as some music group of five boys were making an appearance. 

"Pfft, those two are obviously in love" Sherlock sighed, as he observed a long haired boy glancing at a taller, short haired boy.

"I mean did you see the way they sat down, he almost put an arm around him but had to stop himself." Sherlock started going into deduction mode.

"You're kidding right?" John said incredulously.

"What?" Sherlock asked, confused.

"You've never heard of the whole Larry Stylinson thing? In the last two months, 90% of the comments on my blog and the emails in your inbox have been about those two" John explained, "everyone wants to know if they are together".

"Well, It's obvious really, I don't think they needed me to figure that out, hardly worth bothering to... Hang on, how do you know what's in my inbox? I never told you my password." Sherlock asked, wondering if he'd left his laptop open. John smiled to himself.

"You're password was kind of obvious" John said, watching as Sherlock blushed. The doctor widened his eyes, seeing Sherlock blush was an odd thing to witness. He looked away and appeared to be... embarrassed. John had been bored and began guessing Sherlock's password one day, only to discover that a joke attempt of, 'I love John' had actually turned out to be correct. John smiled and twisted around in front of him.

"It's okay...I love you too." John said, catching Sherlock's lips in a kiss as the consulting detective forgot about the rubix cube and allowed himself to kiss his... boyfriend.


End file.
